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It is more of a descriptor of what you value and how you work out of the world in regards to communication and relationships.*Over the years, I have discovered how important it is for self understanding.Since my personality type is complex and rare, I have also learned how important it is to explain myself, to the best of my ability, to the people who need to understand me the most. INFJs understand me best because this personality type is the rarest in the world making up less than 1%.
Constantly vigilant of everything and endlessly receiving data.
(This sounds like a lot of work, but for INFJ it is effortless and reflexive; it's just what their brains do.) This can be off-putting to people who misinterpret it as a judging function. Despite the "J" in the name, INFJ is decidedly not a judging type.
It's not something most people would love and I try to keep this aspect of myself a secret. I can't explain it and if they are not people who interact with me everyday then it's not important to know. Most people describe it as "scary." "Typically, an INFJ is pretty even-tempered and reasonable, if somewhat prone to defensiveness, and while also perhaps quick to get their feelings hurt, they are also usually quick to forgive once it gets sorted out.
(Read: once you've taken responsibility for and recognized how you were hurtful.
As such, yes, they technically are analyzing you, but it's not intentional, and ultimately it stems from a deep desire to understand you (and everyone/everything else)." particular bit of information is often tough for people to understand.
I am not a judging personality but I will assess every detail about you and know things you will not know about yourself quite yet. I have learned to let go of people who immediately take my information gathering as judgment.
Just saying "I'm sorry" is generally not sufficient; they want to know that you really understand why it hurt their feelings). I find apologies insufficient if one does not take responsibility for their transgression. "As for the "so serious" misperception, while the INFJ admittedly can get stuck (or even intentionally revel, because in all honesty, there are few things INFJs love more than to get deep) in non-stop heavy thinking/conversing, they actually can be quite light-hearted when in the right company.
" am quite quick to get my feelings hurt but I am also just as quick to forgive. I loved how the above quote said that a "sorry" isn't enough though. They love clever wordplay and are not easily offended; they tend to enjoy the company of people who push the envelope and are somewhat outrageous with their humour...
If I did not have him to bring out my playful side I don't think I would laugh much actually. But I (apparently, according to those closest to me) can be hilarious. I like to initiate dance parties with my kids and I will do stupid things to make them laugh.
Unless I am overtired or super high from an obsessive interest or connection, I don't show this side of myself to most people.
There is a genuinely playful, incisively witty aspect to the INFJ personality that often gets overlooked if it isn't encouraged, or if they are in a relationship where humour isn't fundamental...