Today's cougar is fun-loving, smart, knows what she wants-and isn't afraid to go after it.

Everyone can be a cougar, from top-level executives, soccer moms, community leaders, and newly single women who want the fun of a relationship without all the demands and baggage of traditional relationships. There is no standard age for cougars and Cougar Life welcomes women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and up.

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It takes time and it takes work and it isn’t always easy.

Everyone’s path will be different, but no matter what, having a picture of what high self-esteem looks like, and how it can play out in relationships, is helpful and can help reveal the areas you may need to work on.

A single father in his early thirties would most likely have a better time in a relationship with a busy cougar in her forties who understands the demands of parenting, appreciates flexibility in a relationships, and has her own independent, full life. Our members know, that fulfilling connections happen when both partners see eye to eye on the important things and communicate their needs honestly.

Cougars and cubs on Cougar Life share openly about what they are truly looking for, whether it's a fling, a casual date, or something more long term.

From my personal experiences, and my years spent writing about relationships, I’ve learned that poor self-esteem is the number one cause of unhealthy relationships, as well as the top relationship killer.

Self-esteem isn’t an essential need like food or water, but it’s a supplement that can either dramatically improve your life, or keep you stunted and unfulfilled.

This doesn’t make either of them flawed or bad – sometimes it’s just not there.

Confident women don’t take it personally when a guy doesn’t want a romantic relationship.

Instead, they assume he likes them and are able to be present in the relationship and enjoy it without being weighed down by fears and doubts. Confident people realize if a relationship falls apart it’s because it wasn’t right, not because they did something wrong.