Women should not fear being doomed to loneliness if they insist on living in their highest nature.

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I can enjoy a gentleman’s company without feeling the pressure to explain why he and I are not monogamous or why I’m not devising Operation Bridezilla in order to get hitched to him. If people gave advice or shared their experiences in an attempt to be relevant rather than “clever,” they might actually help someone. I can sum up my opinion of the book in two words: Negro, please.

It is extremely difficult for most folks to accept that things outside of us cannot fill the need for soul connection. In it, women must fit into one of these categories: slut, sidepiece, old maid, gold digger, failure, lonely independent achiever, loser or perfect paragon of virtue.

No one teaches us how to fill our own ache, so we spend a lifetime attempting to fill it with people, places and things that don’t serve us. There are countless blog pieces, magazine articles and books out there attempting to hip you to the way to “win” at the dating and relationship “game.” Here’s the problem: People who play games, and who see connection and relationships as games, never really grow up. Women are not living, breathing entities with their own ideas about who they are; they are simply objects to be used or won, whose value is determined by their cunning or hapless use of their “cookie.” The book reduces us down to what Harvey believes are our least common denominators: men’s need for money, sex and a place to be king of the castle, and women’s need to stave off the social stigma of loneliness, the overall poor opinions of others, and the struggle of raising children on their own. The barely-hidden cruelty of it is like watching a cat toy with a mouse.

It plays upon the worst insecurities of men and women – but especially the African-American women who make up a large portion of its target audience: “We’re (men) pretty confident that your willingness to be in a relationship with us supersedes all the things we do that look suspicious, because we know you’ll work through the suspicion – that it’s more important to you to be with us in our imperfection than to leave us and be alone.” And there, loud and clear, is the two-fold message that African-American men are not capable of a deep, abiding, faithful soul connection and African-American women are so afraid of being alone they’ll accept that and the destructive behavior that goes with it. Sorry, Steve, but we do not exist on this earth to settle for scraps from one another.

Inside of us is the ability to love and love deeply.

Women should not suppress or ignore that ability simply because it is difficult for men to access or understand.At African Love.com, we excel at helping you find your match safely and quickly. At African Love.com, we excel at helping you find your match safely and quickly.Through our extensive profiles, members can learn about each other before meeting in person. Through our extensive profiles, members can learn about each other before meeting in person.African Love is an Afro introductions site that is also one of the best South African Dating Sites with photo galleries of African men and ladies, African chat, and much more is available on African Love.Nigerian Dating – If interested in exploring Nigerian dating opportunities with single Nigerian women or men, you have come to the right place..action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet.